Our Disintegration
by Emmasexual
Summary: 100 prompts, 100 drabbles, 100 or less words. We fell in love so quickly and so completely, forever, right? Please read, I literally cannot think of a summary for this.
1. Beauty

**AN: So these are drabbles with Prompts from dancingwithrainbows challenge, I am not actually doing the challenge just using the prompts :) Pairing: Astoria/Theodore**

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Beauty

Theodore thought she was beautiful, everything about her was beautiful. But most of all her personality was beautiful and her ability to find beauty in everything and everyone. Even the darkest, saddest things had beauty, in her eyes. And to him, she was beauty. He wished she could see her beauty, just like she could see beauty in everyone else, but she couldn't, couldn't see the sheer beauty emanating from her. It was the one beauty she couldn't see. And it hurt him.


	2. Love

Love

He was sure he loved her, but not sure in what way, or whether she loved him. His love for her was like his love for a very close friend. But he could see it growing. If she ever asked him why he loved her he was sure he could write a list of the hundreds and thousands of reasons. But she didn't. Maybe she didn't want him to love her, maybe she didn't love him. But his love was growing, and he couldn't stop it. She had blown his mind with her love for everything.


	3. Dream

Dream

She dreamed about a better place, a place without war, a place where she was truly happy. A place where he loved her. Maybe he did. But this was just a dream. Her sister said dreams could come true, maybe they could, but not for her. For her, dreams where a place to escape to, a place everything was okay. But nothing was okay. So she continued to dream. Maybe dreaming wasn't helping her, she was certain it wasn't. But maybe, just maybe; in time her dreams could help her. Because dreaming kept her sane.


	4. Haunted

Haunted

It haunted her, the thought that she wasn't good enough; because she wasn't, she wasn't pretty or clever or funny. She was just Astoria, plain, boring Astoria. And he didn't want her, nobody did. She was haunted every day and night by her dreams because her dreams weren't true they just held her back, because they never would be true. So she gave in, she let herself be haunted; because there was nothing she could do. And he could see it, in her eyes that she was being haunted by something, but he didn't know what.


	5. Memory

Memory

Days of safety where a distant memory, for him and probably others too. Days of swimming in the lake with Blaise, Daphne and Astoria. Days of Hogsmeade with Draco and Pansy; all gone, all memories. He hated that, hated that they couldn't feel safe. They all knew what was coming, soon. And they all knew what it meant for them. Was she scared? Like he was, or was she braver than him, stronger? He didn't know. But he hoped she was. He hoped that she didn't let the memories destroy her. Like he did.


	6. Fragile

Fragile

She was fragile, he was fragile too. For them, it was something to bond over, another reason for them to spend time. And he hated it, it made him love her even more, he hated seeing her like this, so easily broken. He forgot the fact that he was just as fragile. He had to protect her. She could see in his eyes, how fragile he was. It scared her, how alike they were, but it comforted her. She knew she wasn't alone. Even thought she felt alone. They were both scared. Breakable. Fragile.


	7. Celebration

Celebration

It didn't feel like a celebration. It was meant to be a happy time, it was the birth of Jesus, a new hope, but there wasn't hope. There was fear, everywhere. The four Christmas trees where in the four corners of the Great Hall, twinkling with baubles, tinsel and fairies; but they looked dull. Because there wasn't anything to celebrate, not really. The only thing coming was the impeding war, which was nothing to be celebrating; it only invoked fear and misery, all the things which Theodore hated to see.


	8. Secret

Secret

It wasn't a secret, not really. Everyone knew, except him. Everyone could see, except him. She loved him, but he couldn't see it. Yet still she continued to love him, because it was the only thing she could do, the only thing she dared to do, she knew she was being watched by _them._ And with them watching her, nothing was a secret.


	9. Promise

Promise

"Promise me something?"

"Anything." He whispered,

"Promise me, in the war, you'll never leave me."

"I'd never leave you, 'Storia."

"Promise."

"I promise."

And she believed him, how could she not? She was hopelessly in love with him. She believed that promises where kept, they were important. She didn't understand that in a war promises where hardly the most important thing. But she believed him, because to her, he was perfect. And perfect people always kept promises.


	10. Innocence

Innocence

He smiled as she held out her hand to show him the tiny blue butterfly perched on her palm. It was days like this that made him remember what life meant, these innocent days. She was so innocent, almost naive, but he loved her for it. It was spring, spring is innocent. He was almost able to forget about the threat of a war, and his promise, the one he may not be able to keep. The butterfly flew off into the air, and she laid her head on his shoulder watching it leave.

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**AN: Thanks for reading! I will probably update the next 10 tomorrow, please review :)**


	11. Moonlight

**AN: Okay, so next 10 updates! Thank you so much to Lolaaaa for her **_**amazing **_**review and thank you to Lolaaaa and Kas Irons for adding this to their story alerts I'm so grateful.**

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Moonlight

The moonlight scared her, it looked so pure, so beautiful; but the truth of what a full moon does to some men scared her. Full moon should be a beautiful time, not a fearful one. She was taking advantage of the waning moon, lying by the lake watching the stars; it was times like this she could pretend that everything was alright. That she and her sister where safe, that he was safe; but pretending could only last her a little while. That's why moonlight was so terrifying.


	12. Whisper

Whisper

"I love her." it was just a whisper but she heard it, Daphne had heard him.

"Then tell her."

But he didn't know if he could; he was so scared, scared of rejection, scared of being alone.

But the whisper was growing louder, now he was alone by the lake; it turned into a shout, a scream. He wanted the world to know, he wanted her to know how much she meant to him; because behind the pained scream was just a scared, confused teenage boy.


	13. Echo

Echo

She wasn't her anymore she was an echo; an echo of the person she used to be. She drifted around, not seeing, not hearing. She was in a stupor, acting mechanically like a robot. It scared him; he couldn't get through to her, he wanted to hold her and tell her it was all alright, but he feared that she didn't want to be held, that she didn't want to be cared for; because when you care for people you can only lose them.


	14. Jealousy

Jealousy

Why was she doing that? Laughing away with _him_ like she didn't have a care in the world? She was never like that with him, maybe she loved _him_ not Theodore, nobody loved Theodore.

He was jealous of the one person who's opinion had never mattered to him before.

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**AN: So I wrote this then accidentally deleted it so it's not as good as I had hoped, who is **_**him**_**? I don't know, please leave a suggestion in your review? :)**


	15. Passion

Passion

He couldn't hold it in anymore; he had to tell her, or at least show her how he felt. So he did. He pressed his lips against hers, terrified she would pull away, but she didn't she kissed him back with equal passion. Maybe she did love him? Or maybe he was just a distraction, a distraction from the pain and misery. He didn't know; he wasn't sure he wanted to know, so he pulled away, and watched her walk slowly away from him. He let her go; again.


	16. Lies

Lies

"What happened with Theodore?"

Daphne was asking her about him, and she wished, wished she wouldn't because it hurt to talk about him. She didn't want to talk about him because he had pretended he cared but he didn't, he didn't.

"Nothing." So she lied, she lied because she couldn't bear it; she couldn't bear the hurt and the pain that came with the truth.

But you can't lie forever.


	17. Regrets

Regrets

"But Astoria –"

"No Theodore, just... it didn't happen okay?"

She didn't want to remember that he'd kissed her, it hurt too much because he didn't care for her; not really.

Why didn't she want to talk about it? Did she regret it? Probably, he decided; why shouldn't she? She had _him._


	18. Trust

Trust

She didn't trust anybody, not really, she was being watched; she didn't trust the people watching her, she didn't trust Theo not to hurt her, she didn't trust her sister not to blurt something out, she didn't trust her parents to make the right decisions, and she didn't trust herself. She didn't trust herself to be perfect, she didn't trust herself not to make any mistakes and she didn't trust herself to keep the people she loved safe.


	19. Revenge

Revenge

He didn't deserve it, not really; he didn't deserve the pain she was putting him through. He didn't deserve pain, it was Astoria's way of getting revenge on herself. But it hurt other people too. It was dangerous, she distanced herself from people, hurt the people she loved; it was just revenge. Revenge for not being perfect.


	20. Beach

Beach

She woke up and gasped, trying to recall the dream. It had been a beach, not a nice beach; she had been sinking in quicksand, salt water filling her mouth. It seemed fitting, she felt like she was stuck, no means of escape, but it scared her; it reminded her of her problems and worries. And that didn't help.

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**AN: Thanks for reading, please review, alert, favourite etc :)**


	21. Midnight

**AN: Hey! Yeah hi. Thanks to Lolaaaa and Kas Irons for the reviews :)**

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Midnight

He loved midnight, everything was quiet, everything was calm; everything was almost perfect. But nothing was perfect. Nothing would ever be perfect. She hated midnight, it was horrible, it was the time he would lie in bed and her brain would go on and _on _and it would never shut up! And it told her everything she knew was true but didn't want to hear. She hated midnight.


	22. Confessions

Confessions

They lay by the lake, he was lazily stroking her hair; there was a comfortable silence.

"I love you." He said in a rush.

"What?" She propped herself on her elbow to look at him.

He looked at her, "at least, I think I do."

She smiled, a small, beautiful, genuine smile, "I love you too."

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**AN: So I think this is quite different from my other chapters but yeah.**


	23. Crush

Crush

_He _watched them, he didn't know what they'd said but he thought he knew. He didn't know what these feelings were but he knew that he didn't want her to be there with Theodore he wanted her to be somewhere with him. He didn't know what these feelings were, but they scared him.

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**AN: I still don't know who **_**he **_**is so please please leave a suggestion?**


	24. Chocolate

Chocolate

She smiled weakly as he handed her the chocolate box, a goofy smile on his face; she hated chocolate, no, she loved chocolate; but she hated it. She hated how it made her feel, to have it sitting on her dressing table and being unable to eat it.


	25. Alone

Alone

She always felt alone, even now she had him; and he loved her. She decided to be happier, or try, at least. She couldn't choose to be happy, not just like that; but she would try.


	26. Rain

Rain

It was a rare moment of happiness, the sun was shining when the rain began to fall, it was a hot day so it evaporated off her summer dress quickly. And they danced in the rain, laughing, their hair slicked down their necks with the damp, and it clung to her eyelashes and made her eyes sparkle even more.


	27. Letters

Letters

_He _sent her letters, she never replied to them, or spoke about them but Blaise knew, and it worried him. What if she did reply one day? He knew he was worrying too much, she was nowhere near slipping away from him, so he tried not to worry. And the letters remained an unspoken topic between them. In a drawer, though she never replied to them.


	28. Cold

Cold

It was late summer but she felt cold, so she clung onto him; trying to keep warm. He didn't mind, he let her wrap her arms around his waist and burrow her head in his chest seeking the warmth that only his arms could bring.


	29. Dark

Dark

Everything was so much easier in the dark, in the dark where you can't see the problems you're creating, where no one else can see the sins you commit. And it was in the dark that _his _lips first pressed against hers, and she let him; because it seemed easier to let it happen than to fight it.


	30. Addiction

Addiction

It seemed like it was an addiction, she still loved him but she couldn't stop those meetings in the dark, where nothing seems real because you can't see it. She felt so bad but she craved the feeling of someone caring for her without asking questions or talking; someone just holding her and kissing her in the dark.

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**AN: I know this is long overdue so thank you to Lolaaaa for poking me to update I will try and put up the next chapter asap :) I'm going to write a new summary for this and maybe rename it because I don't think the name really reflects how angsty it is and I don't think Nicki Minaj lyrics in the summary make it sound like the best piece of writing :)**


	31. Flower

**AN: Hi guys! I'm meant to be on a writing break but I love writing this story so I'm doing this now, this might be 5 or 10 updates depending on my mood as I write so I'm not sure x**

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Flower

Draco left a flower on her desk in DADA, in the middle of the day where everyone could see. And that night when they met up in the dark she hissed at him, "what was that for? Someone will find out!"

And he told her that he didn't think it would be a problem, but it was a problem, Theodore had seen.


	32. Snow

Snow

Draco sat in the snow and Theodore saw him from the castle door, and he stormed towards him and punched him hard. He didn't care that he had no proof, he knew what he'd done.


	33. Temptation

Temptation

Draco knew he should stay away now that Theo knew but he couldn't, he would watch her with Theo, taking none of the blame and he wanted her. She was laughing in her winter dress and boots as he covered her ears for her, and he wanted her.


	34. Autumn

Autumn

She remembered Autumn, before Theo knew, before anything major had happened and she wanted that back. Even though she had been terrified; terrified of the Dark Lord, who seemed to know everything about her, she couldn't stand the way he looked at her know. Like he couldn't trust her, he probably shouldn't, but she hated it.


	35. Unity

Unity

Dumbledore kept talking about unity, he knew what he said was true, if they wanted to win they'd have to unite; but he couldn't trust anyone. Not even Astoria, because they all betrayed him, sooner or later.

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**AN: wow, I could tell as I wrote this that I'm a bit rusty so I apologize but please leave a review? :)**


	36. Hurt

**AN: So I have decided **_**he **_**is Draco because that is who I imagined it to be when I wrote it, I didn't want to do that before because I thought it would be too similar to Lolaaaa's story but I couldn't think of anyone else it could be, I have changed the last five chapters so that it's Draco so, next five chapters are here :)**

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Hurt

"I know that you're hurt but I'm sorry," Astoria said desperately.

Theo looked at her, his face portraying how confused he was, "please?" she said, "give me another chance?"

He sighed and nodded, "okay," he said.

She smiled slightly and put her hand on his arm, "thank you."


	37. Truth

Truth

He couldn't face the truth, the truth that she was able to cheat on him, he loved her too much, so he took her back and he told her it that it was okay and that he forgave, deep down it wasn't really okay, and he didn't really forgive her, but he loved her too much to see her sad.


	38. Rogue

Rogue

_Rogue: (n) A dishonest or unprincipled man._

Draco was a rogue, he had seduced a girl who was in a relationship, he knew it was wrong, he regretted it but he couldn't just forget his feelings, he didn't love her, definitely no, he knew he could never feel as much for her as Theodore did but still, he had felt something.


	39. Champagne

Champagne

She smiled as brightly as she could, her lips painted red, her hair delicately curled and her silver dress hanging perfectly from her frame, Theodore stood next to her, in a suit with his hand on the small of her back. She held her glass of champagne in one hand and made gestures with the other, all the while a large smile on her face, they both smiled; pretending they had no worries, no problems, when, in reality their whole world was crashing down around them.


	40. Tulips

Tulips

The first tulips pushed their way through the grass and he remembered last spring, how happy they'd been; maybe they could be happy again, he wanted to be happy again. He knew they could be, if they tried. So they would try, so he pulled her outside and watched as her face lit up at the sight of the first flowers and she laughed and smiled, and pressed a kiss to his lips when he handed her several that he picked for her.

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**AN: I'll update with the next 10 asap, please leave a review :)**


	41. Glitter

**AN: Long time no see! I'm so sorry i haven't updated wow, I'd love to give you an excuse but I don't have one, please check out my latest story 'Postcards and Polaroids, Pieces of a Heart' people seem to be resolutely not reading it**

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Glitter

She was glittering, quite literally, she shone and sparkled in the spring sun. She had washed her hair, and curled it; she was wearing a silver sparkling top. He holds his arm out in a joking way, she laughs and takes it and they head to Hogsmeade. They're acting happy, maybe they are happy, they aren't really sure; but they're trying to be.


	42. Fearless

Fearless

"Are you scared?" she asks him, she hates to ruin their date with talk of the war, but she needs to know.

He shakes his head, "no," he says, "no I'm not."

"I am." She says quietly, bowing her head, her hair falls softly over her shoulders. She puts her hand on his forearm, "nobody's fearless." She tells him, looking at him intently. He shifts, maybe he is scared a bit, but he has to be fearless, for her.


	43. Proposal

**AN: yay being so inventive with this prompt woo, some song lyrics from my favourite band in there too yay**

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Proposal

"Astoria, I want to be with you forever," he says, "if love really is forever, your forever is all that I need. I know we're only young, so I'm not asking you to marry me, but I want to give you this."  
It's a simple silver ring embedded with tiny diamonds.

"Diamonds mean forever," she whispers; she has tears in her eyes as he looks for her consent before putting the ring on her finger. She nods, and now they are forever.


	44. Together

Together

Together they will get through this, she thinks, they have to; because she wants to be with him forever. Draco is a distant memory, know all she thinks about is her and Theodore; _together_.


	45. Heartbroken

Heartbroken

He's not heartbroken, not really, just dramatic. But Draco can't pretend seeing the ring on Astoria's finger didn't affect him. It's not an engagement ring, he's not quite sure what it is, but it's on her ring finger; it _means _something.


	46. Loss

Loss

He feels like he's lost something, but you can't lose what you never had. Draco and Theodore were never _friends _more, acquaintances. But now that he's not there Theo begins to realise he misses Draco, he was witty and smart, less funny the closer the war came, Theodore had noted. But he did miss him, he had _lost _something.


	47. Holiday

**AN: so I'm not exactly sure about the dates of the final battle so the big muggles and muggleborns dying stuff etc is starting now**

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Holiday

The summer holiday arrives, and next year they will be in their eight year at Hogwarts, their last year, then they are leaving, their home almost. They thought a holiday would be relaxing, but it's not, they fear for their family and friends; and even abroad muggles and muggleborns are dying, and they know it's him.


	48. Roses

Roses

It's a silly, cliché gift. He almost throws the roses away but Astoria opens the door and eases her way through with her shopping bags. Her eyes meet his and then flicker to the roses and a large smile spreads across her face. She drops her bags and launches herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him. He feels _happy_, he _is _happy, he decides, yes, he's happy.


	49. Sparkle

Sparkle

His eyes sparkle, Astoria notes as they lay in bed one morning in just their underwear, the sheets kicked off and their bare legs entangled as they drink tea and talk. She feels like she's in some muggle magazine, with crisp white sheets, tea and a handsome boy; the only thing out of place is her, she isn't pretty or skinny. She feels guilty as she remembers her diet, the nonexistent one. But she can't feel too bad because she's just _so happy_.


	50. Magic

Magic

If magic wasn't real _she _would be magic, everything about her is magic. She's so perfect, but she's not perfect. She laughs again, throwing her head back; they're shut indoors again, occasionally venturing into the garden, being shut off from the world is a relief, they don't hear about deaths or raids, but soon they will be back at Hogwarts and they won't be able to avoid it, but for now they avoid it, drinking tea and laughing together in the serene oasis of their house.

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**AN: wow! I definitely missed that! That was fun, wasn't it? :) I will update asap but school starts on Thursday and I am starting year 10, my first year of GCSE courses so I may or may not be very busy, thanks for reading, reviewing only takes a moment**

**HALF WAY THROUGH!**


	51. Fire

**AN: Wow okay so I haven't updated in _forever _and I'm so so sorry! I've been out of the whole writing thing for quite a while so yeah, here's 10 chapters for you that may or may not be terrible, I'm not too sure about a couple of them. It would mean so much to me if you left a review and maybe checked out some of my drabbles? Love you all! And sorry again! x**

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Fire

Voldemort and the Death Eaters are spreading like a fire, spreading; nobody can stop it. It's hard to ignore now, it's everywhere. Everyone they talk to talks about it, every newspaper they read is headlining it. It's fire and no one can escape.


	52. Thunder

Thunder

The sky darkens with the promise of a summer storm. Astoria is standing in the kitchen cooking wearing a pale blue denim shirt and khaki green shorts as she chats to Daphne sitting at the breakfast behind her. Thunder crackled loudly in the sky.


	53. Vanilla

Vanilla

She smelt of vanilla, it was something solid about Astoria; she always smelt of vanilla. Theodore liked that, the familiarity, the consistency and the safety. It was strange how the simple smell of her hair could bring so much stability.


	54. Broken

Broken

The glass shattered on the kitchen floor and it was like the spell was broken. Next week they would be returning to Hogwarts, they couldn't hide from the pain and the torture. And it was like something snapped inside her and she let herself drop to the floor and sobs shook her body; they couldn't pretend anymore.


	55. Forever

Forever

"We are forever." He whispered to her as they lay in the dark. She nodded softly, her curly hair tickling his nose. "Yes," she murmured back to him, "forever." And they were forever because despite everything they were completely, utterly, imperfectly in love.


	56. Imagination

Imagination

"How do I look?" Astoria asked, posing in front of him.

It was the first of September and they were preparing to journey to Kings Cross to catch the train.

"Beautiful." He smirked, stepping closer.

"Use your imagination," she teased, moving forward slightly.

He hmmm'd lightly and moved closer so they were almost touching, "iridescent." He whispered and he kissed her.


	57. Silence

Silence

It was completely, gut-wrenchingly silent on the train. No animated voices of second and third years, no loud gossip from the older students; silence. She snuggled closer to Theodore, he wrapped an arm around her, he could tell she was scared. Not of the silence but by it, what would the year be like if the train journey was like this?


	58. Fade

Fade

The bright spark of happiness they'd had over the holidays faded, and with it the twinkle in her eyes. It was rare that she would laugh and smile without it being fake, and he would treasure those moments. The Astoria he'd once knew was returning, and it scared him.


	59. Shine

Shine

His eyes shone with unshed tears, nobody noticed but her. She pulled him into a crevice by his arm asking what was wrong.

"I'm scared." He said, "I'm scared for me, I'm scared for you and I'm scared for us."

"You don't need to be." She comforted him, "because we're forever, remember?"


	60. Bright

Bright

September rolled into October and soon followed November; bringing with it the first snowfall of the season. It shone brightly through the windows of the castle, twinkling in the winter sun inviting them to wrap themselves up and venture outside. Hogsmeade visits were now few and far between so when the opportunity presented itself to get out of the grounds the whole of the upper school grabbed the chance. They met with Daphne and Blaise in The Three Broomsticks and they felt free again.


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